White

I’ve been sitting in front of my computer staring at the blinking cursor for several minutes now wondering how I was going to say what’s on my mind.  I knew that I had to pick and choose my words carefully because if I said the very thing that was sitting in the forefront of my mind without allowing it to go through the normal thought process, it could possibly come out wrong.  I could easily be branded as a racist or someone looking to stir up trouble. 

But there are some simple facts that have been bothering me of late…so here we go.

We have never been polarized as much as we are today.  We have never hated one another more than we do today…or rather, people of color have never been hated and despised as much as we are right now.

White people are somehow confusing pride in their ethnic background with repressive pride that comes along with being white.  This is a fact.  

And while I know that every white person doesn’t think this way, there are too many of them that do that it can’t be ignored.  There a distinct difference between being proud of your ethnicity and being proud of being white.  Because it is that same pride that caused white folks to flee when a person of color moves into their neighborhood.  It’s that same pride in being white that burned crosses, subjugated races of people into slavery, created Jim Crow laws, mass incarceration and ghettos.  We move about in a society that functions at its best when we don’t talk about what was done to people of color for generations.  It’s okay if we don’t acknowledge what was taken from us.

Another fact is that we could move forward both as a people and a nation if we dealt with this issue at hand instead of avoiding it or getting hurt feelings about it.

White people feel like they are under siege.  They feel that the nation is becoming blacker and browner and that they are slowly losing their self-imposed right to the first fruits of this land.

Simultaneously, they also feel as if they have been forgotten…. that they have been left behind by the same people that they elected into office.  

Another fact is that white resentment has never been as high as its been in the last few years.  White people are angry.  They feel that they are losing something that they should never have had to begin with.  They feel as if their government has left them behind…that their elected officials have shirked their responsibilities to them as a people as opposed to the government themselves.

What’s troubling to me is that patriotism has morphed into giving license to hate.  It’s okay to hate as long as it’s done in the name of the American flag.  You’re okay if you’re not a liberal.  At one time, the difference between being liberal and conservative was the simple (and maybe at times indistinguishable) difference between political beliefs. ~J.L. Whitehead

They believe that everyone else is the cause of their problems; that immigrants are taking their jobs when the simple reality is that immigrants are only occupying jobs that those same people would never think of taking.  They are angry that they are losing out to an ever-changing world; that society is starting to see certain minority groups as equal even if that equality still doesn’t extend to every person of color.

Without saying it aloud, white has always been synonymous with a proper upbringing, working hard and as a result deserving of every single opportunity that being white can be afforded.  This type of thinking, whether acknowledged or not, is embedded in the head of every white person in this nation.    

Conversely, every black mother has had to have a talk with their children as to how to navigate a world that at times can feel like it is hell bent on killing you.  As a black son, we are taught that we must be twice as good to get half the pay that white men get.  We are taught that opportunities will not come as quickly no matter how deserving we perceive ourselves to be. 

I was told by a former supervisor a long time ago that the society that we are living in is a white world.  She made me angry when she said that but hindsight being 20/20, she was right.  Our entire perceptions have been honed and shaped through the lens of white people. 

For years, we have been shown what to buy, what movies to see, where to shop, where to live and yes, even where to work by white people.

Most of us know this to be true, but few want to accept it.  The problem comes when we try to address it because in theory, equality sounds good…but that isn’t reality.

It doesn’t matter how many integrated settings we surround ourselves with.  It doesn’t matter what it looks like on the surface.  At our societal core lies the truth that was brought to my attention a few years ago.  There are a lot of white people that believe in white privilege.  This is a fact.

And yes, I can be dismissed as another angry black man…except I’m not.

I’ve been navigating the waters of being involved with a white man for years.  But simply because I have a white partner doesn’t mean that I am willing to compromise who I am because of who I am with.  I find myself walking the tightrope between being a loving partner and sometimes being mad as hell at his race.  I’ve learned how to separate the two.  Fortunately for me, he makes it easy.  He reminds me that at our respective core lies a strong belief in a patriotism that resonates within every American, even though America hasn't been kind to everyone.

What’s troubling to me is that patriotism has morphed into giving license to hate.  It’s okay to hate as long as it’s done in the name of the American flag.  You’re okay if you’re not a liberal.  At one time, the difference between being liberal and conservative was the simple (and maybe at times indistinguishable) difference between political beliefs.  Sometimes, it comes down to being socially and fiscally conservative.  It has now changed into the political parties becoming arch enemies in an arena where chaos is the norm.  We find ourselves being at war with one another when most of us can’t begin to answer the reason as to why we’re fighting in the first place.  We listen to one person telling us how we’re supposed to feel when we should be able to discern how we feel all by ourselves.

We’ve lost common sense and perspective on issues that should unite us and not tear each other apart.  In many ways, we rely on and have fallen prey to someone telling us who is taking something from us and how we should feel about it instead of forming our own opinions whether it be good, bad or otherwise.

But as I watch the fire burn in my fireplace, I wonder where we’ll be at the end of the year.  I wonder if we can get it together as a people and change the trajectory of where we are headed.  And I would love to believe that this is something that all races should take equal responsibility in…but it isn’t.  Because for hatred to carry clout and really matter you have to have societal power; and like it or not, the power rests predominately with white people. 

We as a people have the power to change the structure of our lives.  We can change how things are and shape them into how you would like them to be.

But for some, you must be ready to look in the mirror and deal with your own demons.  And for the rest of us, we must be ready to form our own thoughts and keep it moving forward at all cost.

~ J.L. Whitehead

As a Black Gay Man, this is what I think of Mayor Pete

I like Mayor Pete.  He speaks well.  He carries himself with the air of an educated man who has served his country with pride.  He served with the blissful ignorance of not knowing that the very country he served could have cared less about his dreams and struggles as a gay man.  I don’t know Mayor Pete personally, but I know enough of him to be proud that if elected to be President of the United States, he will be the first person of the LGBTQ community to do so.

It is this community that binds us.  We are wrapped in the same pain that every man who belongs to this community shares.  At one time or another, we shared the same triumphs and pitfalls that every man and woman who holds his or her head up and announces to the world who they are without wincing in shame.

Mayor Pete was well into his thirties by the time he realized who he was.  I don’t know what his journey to his true self entailed.  I don’t know how many tears he shed at night before coming to terms with the fact that he identifies as a homosexual.

I shed those same tears.

We are cut from the same cloth.  But while I acknowledge willfully that I am looking forward to seeing how his potential candidacy will play out, I wonder what his nomination will mean for me personally

I came out of the closet in 1979; the year that I graduated from high school.  I was in awe of a world that I had hoped would embrace me.  My world became a whirlwind of disco music, socializing and late nights at the local diner. It also included writing for Philadelphia’s local gay publication, “Philadelphia Gay News.”

 I found out very quickly that I was not welcome in all circles of the gay community.  I found out that the same group of people that welcomed me also rejected me.  I found out that some aspects of the gay community shunned Black and Latino gays by implementing questionable carding practices to keep their patronage white.  I found out that youth was not always the sign of beauty; unless that youth was white.  I became acutely aware that racism had nestled itself quietly within a community that I thought I belonged to.  Ads that ran in local gay publications for men seeking potential partners were often followed by the descriptive, “No Fats, no Blacks, no Fems.”

And yet, this is where Mayor Pete and I come from.  So, I wonder if he is capable of seeing me; a part of his community that needs to be represented just as much if not more than the white gay community.  I am curious if he can represent me as my voice (and people like me) will be raised in the hopes of his becoming our nominee for the presidency.

"We are cut from the same cloth.  But while I acknowledge willfully that I am looking forward to seeing how his potential candidacy will play out, I wonder what his nomination will mean for me personally." ~ J.L. Whitehead

And while I raise my voice for him, I silently wonder if he can represent a portion of my community that has always been pushed aside.  My mind wanders to the plight of trans women of color.  I can’t help but wonder if he can truly see the “us” that makes up the gay community of color.

I didn’t know that racism existed in the gay community.  I found out very quickly that it did.  It wasn’t just because of the carding practices at some of the white clubs.  It wasn’t that at one time, the newspapers that circulated in the gay community relegated the issues and concerns of the gay community of color to a side note; a blurb buried in the middle of its publication never to be seen or addressed at all.

We are tolerated.  But we have not been fully embraced.  I don’t know what Mayor Pete’s stance is on issues that pertain to communities of color.  I don’t know if he will properly represent me as well as people that look like me.  I’m not sure of this at all.  I also don’t know if Joe Biden, Elizabeth Warren or Bernie Sanders will represent me either.  After all, the African American community has grown accustomed to our issues as well as what matters to us being pushed aside.  We are used to our needs and wants being dismissed as casually as someone would swat away bothersome fly on a hot summer day.

Will he gain the support of the African American community?  Will he talk to us and address our needs and wants?  Or would his support of the very community that he comes from condemn his elect-ability? 

I’m not sure.  Only time will tell.

~ J.L. Whitehead

Trumps Last Article

I made the cognizant decision to stop writing about Trump.  Over time, I realized that I was perpetuating perhaps even feeding into the ego of a man who does not have a viable moral compass, questionable ethics and at the very least, has no value for all of the citizens of this country.

I don’t have to tell you who this man is because you already know.  For some of you, he is a savior…the great white hope if you pardon the metaphor.  For others, he is a bigot…someone who seems to enjoy inflicting pain on people of color and whose policies reflect who he is and what he believes.

We know that 33% of white America side with, support and place extreme value on Trump.  They take pride in calling him “my” president all the while knowing that his governance does not blanket all the citizens of this country.

This presidency has exhausted me.  The weariness comes not just because of the multitude of scandals that has plagued the White house since his inauguration.  I’m weary of the back and forth between the Democratic and Republican parties.  I’m tired of the scandals that seem to pop up at the end of every news cycle.  But I am mostly tired of this administration’s attempt to convince the American people that what they are doing will ultimately benefit them; that they are doing what they are doing because they are patriots and will lift up the middle class when what we are seeing proves otherwise. Enough is enough.  We have never had a president that has been as enshrouded in chaos as the one that we have in the oval office currently. 

I don’t know what the future holds for us as a people.  I would like to think that we will survive this and come out better now that we know that 33% of this country believes in the ideology of “America First.”

But it’s not the idea that America should be first in every single aspect of governance that concerns me.  It is that the ideology is shaping out to be America alone.  We elected someone that would go to the White house and “shake” things up.  We should have known that someone with no experience in being the president of the most powerful country in the world shouldn’t be allowed to learn how to govern on the job.

But we’re here now and short of voting him out of office and not allowing him to have a second term, there is nothing that we can do about it.

We will get through this.  We will survive this.  But what do we do with the hatred that has bubbled to the surface of our nation?  What do we do with the major problem of “white supremacy?”  How do we fix that problem because it’s here, live and in living color?  That has been the question that has resonated in my mind for the last year or so.  What do we do when Trump is out of office because like it or not, eventually that day will come, whether by impeachment, the end of his term or being voted out.

So what will we do?

~ J.L. Whitehead